The Art of Change

I had been anticipating our lunch date at Cafe Veronese.  Surrounded by funky art, rusty metal paraphernalia from days-gone-by, and chippy-painted-wood structures, the setting was inspiring and creative and insulated from the bustle of the town.  In this peaceful space, with food for body and soul, my dear young friend and I opened our hearts and shared our dreams as we sat and supped and meandered in the hidden garden.

Perfection wasn't the heart of the place or our thoughts on that day.  Rather, our musings were more about possibility in the midst of brokenness, and about freedom to dream, explore, and step forward in faith.  I knew I would find inspiration in spending time with dear Alethia, who possesses God-sized dreams and a heart for the hurting.....and I was not disappointed.  Indeed, I was challenged and encouraged to set out on a new adventure.....beginning with attending an anti-human trafficking event. 

A painting of Cafe Veronese

Following lunch we perused a couple of cool little shops in the downtown whose mission through business and creativity is to bless and serve the community and those in need.  One was Share and Do Good and the other, Oh, Hello Friend, the shop where the anti-trafficking event would be held.  To see before my eyes the the passionate efforts of those doing such altruistic work was really quite moving.

For me personally, the issue of human trafficking has been very heavy on my heart for a few years now.  The feeling is so strong that it gets me choked up every time I mention it.  Although I've desired to do something, I've felt paralyzed about what to do, and so I've failed to do anything at all.....or perhaps I've just been waiting for the Lord's specific leading, timing, and inspiration.  Hmmm.....or has that just been an excuse?.....pondering.

I know I am blessed.....to be a blessing!

The following day, I awoke early, my head filled with artsy ideas, and my heart seeking ways I could help fight slavery.  Moved to my knees with prayer book and pen, I came before the Maker of heaven and earth and committed my ideas to Him in prayer.  

"Lord, may it be that I live for Your kingdom and Your glory.....and not my own!"  Though I feel insufficient and powerless, my God is big and powerful and Mighty to Save!  Because of His great love and His power that lives in me, I can do something.  I can participate in the art of change!

Because of the challenge set before me by Alethia, I went to the
 Anti-Human Trafficking Event at Oh, Hello Friend.  We heard stories of captivity and rescue, and learned much about the issue from Destiny Rescue, an incredible ministry.  All my tears from last night resulted in a headache this morning, but it was so worth it.  It was a beautiful evening full of reality, and hope, and lovely people, and opportunities.   
We were inspired with many ways to get involved.
So glad I went.

Sales of jewelry and other items were for sale for the cause.

I met these sweet student activists.

We wrote encouragement notes for the rescued victims.

Patch Attach

The not-so-perfect or pretty side of my patch.

I admit that it's a fact that I have a hard time getting rid of stuff and that I hate seeing perfectly useful things being thrown away in the garbage.  The way I figure, waste is bad for the environment and besides, one man's trash is another person's treasure.  Go ahead.....call me sentimental or frugal or perhaps even a hoarder.....yikes!  

Wherever I can, I do my best to recycle, re-use, save for a garage sale or give away.  For example, I never just throw away junky T-shirts.....they become throw-away rags that can be used to wipe up greasy stuff in the garage.  Old socks are great for cleaning blinds or fan blades, and if they get really dirty, then I toss them instead of wash them.   Another thing I save for re-use is denim jeans.  If they're in good condition, I tend to pass them on for someone else to wear, but if they're worn, I save them for projects like quilts, tote bags or decorative items (see them at My Reformed Denim or Rags to Riches or Dedicating my Heart).

My old pants with possibilities.

So all this is a little background on my latest  project.....patching up some favorite comfy pants.  I bought these cargo-style pants years ago in two different colors and have absolutely loved the way they felt and fit.  When the beige pair saw their demise, I snipped off the cool metal buttons before I threw them away.....who knows what use I'll find for them someday?  But these faded gray pair with the hole in the leg and the frayed cuffs, I have continued to wear.

I don't know about you, but when I'm wearing clothes that are super-cute and nice and new, I feel a little stifled as far as getting stuff done around the house, but when I'm wearing clothes that aren't so perfect and that are maybe even a little junky, I feel that the possibilities are endless for what I can accomplish.  Hence, I felt it was worth it to patch up my holey pants.....and I had the perfect fabric saved for just such the occasion.

I cut patches from my old, torn cords.

A pair of old ripped cords came in handy as the patch material for my cargo pants.  I had saved these because I loved the soft texture and the rich color of the deep rose corduroy.....I figured they had to be good for something .....something heart-shaped.....of course!  I cut a free-hand heart to cover the hole and then used that first piece as a pattern for cutting a second patch as a backing.  I cut the design out of a piece of fusible webbing too.

Ironing on the patch.

Snipping off the frayed threads.

Next I cleaned up the hole by cutting away the frayed threads.  Then I created a little heart-shaped fabric sandwich on the hole with fabric under the hole, and fusible webbing and the heart-patch over that.  Since fusible webbing takes moist heat, I plugged in the iron, and moistened a cloth to layer over my patch, then held the iron over the area for a minute or so until the patch was attached.
 

Final step - sewing on the patch.

The final step in the process was sewing around the edges of the heart.  I considered zig-zagging too, but decided against it in order to let the edges fray for a little more texture.  Turns out I didn't make a great fabric sandwich as the backing fabric didn't quite cover the hole, but that's no biggy, no one will ever see it.
 

Project complete!

Most importantly, I consider this project to be a successful experiment.  I figure that what I practiced this time for patching a hole could be done just for embellishment on some other item some other day.  The creative ideas are endless.  After all.....I've got lots more rose colored corduroy ready and waiting!

Hanukkah Nights

Eight little candles

Hanukkah means "dedication." 

all burning so bright,
as we come to the last
of our Hanukkah nights.

We started with one candle.
Then we lit two.
With each night the light
of our Hanukkiah grew.

We ate oil-fried and cheese foods,
all very symbolic.....
latkes and french fries,
even Chinese and cheesecake.

During Hanukkah nights
we recalled brave, godly men
and women whose lives
were dedicated to Him.

They valued the Torah
much more than their lives.
They lived for the Kingdom.
For God's Word they did fight.

So too, may the Light
in our hearts burn with passion,
proclaiming the Living Word
descended from heaven.

For we are His temple.
Yes, we are His lights.
His glory shines out from within 
hearts fully dedicated to Him.

<3 Kim

Let us dedicate our hearts to Him!

Last year, I shared with greater detail some of my Hanukkah experiences 

and the way this new-to-me celebration touched my heart.....in Dedicating my Heart.  

The Mystery of 11-11

One in Messiah

Today is November 11.  While I know this is just another date on the calendar, there's something about the number 11-11 that tugs at my heartstrings.....reminds me of something important.....something important for me to share.  This story of mine, about the number 11-11, may sound a little crazy when you read it, but nevertheless, I pray you will appreciate my experience and find my conclusions to be of interest.....

The date was 7-11-11.  It was a summer evening when I met a dear friend at a local coffeehouse.  We talked for hours, catching up and chatting about the way the LORD was working in our lives.  At the end of the night, while walking out to the parking lot, we discovered that our sons were sharing similar experiences.  

Previously, each of our sons had shared that they were randomly seeing the number 11-11.  The repetition and oddity of this had left each one of them feeling a little disconcerted, and we moms, had taken their feelings to heart.  Normally, I steer clear of any kind of superstitious thinking, but this time the enemy sucked me in, and I experienced fearful thoughts and feelings of dread.  I knew my fear was not of God.  I knew that our God tells us to cast off anxious thoughts and trust in Him.  I knew that.....and yet, to my shame, I worried.
  
Separately, each of us mothers had asked our sons to pray.  Each of us had encouraged our sons to ask God to reveal His message, if indeed there was a message to be understood.  I don't know if our sons did pray for revelation, or if they did believe that God might get their attention through such strange methods, but separately, each of us mothers had told our sons that our God is not random.  He is precise, omnipotent, purposeful and providential.

In the coffeehouse parking lot, my friend and I prayed for the LORD's protection and for His leading for our sons.  My friend said she would look up scripture references that might give insight to the strange numbers.  I told her that I would wait for what God would show me. 


Then we went our separate ways.  My friend started her car before I got to mine.  Excitedly, she waved me over and asked me to guess what time it was when she started her car.  She told me it had been 11:00 p.m.  After what seemed only a few minutes later, I got in my car to find 11:11 staring at me!  I honked the horn at my friend, who had started to drive away, and shared the crazy news.  Though, I don't like to over-spiritualize events in my life, we did marvel together at this strange happening and wondered if God was trying to show us something.  

The next day I received a couple of e-mails links from my friend.  The first was about end-times prophecies, and the second was about something I can't remember.....but it quoted a Bible verse that I had been running across repeatedly.  Until that moment, I hadn't noticed where it was found, but this time the reference numbers that caught my eye were 11:11!  This time, this verse stood out to me as being of particular importance.

The passage in the second e-mail was Romans 11:11 which states, "...salvation has come to the Gentiles to make Israel envious."  I began to ponder the meaning of this.....for me.....and for my son.  The LORD had already lead me to study the feasts of the LORD.....days that most people think of as Jewish holidays.  I had already begun to see that these God-appointed feasts/holy days of celebration found in Leviticus 23 are of great value.  I had already started learning that these biblical and holy celebrations were prophetic and intimate celebrations of joy and worship, centered on Messiah, and were a time of great blessing for both Jews and Gentile believers alike.  

My son, who was seeing 11-11 everywhere, was the only one in my family who had been willing to discuss whether God may be inviting Gentile believers back to the biblical feasts.  I wondered.....was God directing my son and me to a ministry of reconciliation with the Jews?  

 

In these end times, in this eleventh hour, my heart's passion is to be a part of the reconciliation process between Jew and Gentile.  Not that I yet know how I can do this, but I do believe the 11-11 mystery elicited increased passion in this reconciliation and validated the value I was finding in studying God's appointed feasts/holy days of celebration.

I now feel called to let go of many of the traditions I have grown up with, and I am compelled to learn more about the biblical and holy feasts with the goal of celebrating them as Messiah did.  I want to uncover the meaning of these appointed days through the lens of the Messiah.  I want to experience what it really means for Jew and Gentile to be One New Man in Messiah, our living Torah.

Thus far, this journey has been fulfilling one, but I do admit that in these crazy days, I harbor fear for what the future may bring.  Holding on to the One who holds the future.....this is where I find my peace.

 
* The paintings above are just a few of the elements of a 3'x4' painted canvas that I designed to represent the interests and values of my family.  The "Heartstrings" design is a little 21/2" x 31/2" painting.

My "Rebellious" Heart

In the last few years, I've been questioning a lot of things that I've grown up believing .....things that I've always assumed were good and right and true....things like my traditions and doctrines and beliefs.   Doubts and curiosity have fueled me to research and dig into history for answers in a way that has been anything but drudgery.  My seeking has led me to treasures that flood me with excitement.  While part of me feels a bit uncomfortable with these new "rebellious" thoughts.....another part of me feels energized and refreshed.  I mean, here I am, 50 years old, and I'm nobody's little girl.  If I'm not gonna be honest with who I am by now, then what am I?  If I can't be strong enough to live what I believe, then what does that make me? 

In revealing my heartfelt questions of faith, my guess is that these queries are probably not mine alone.  Perhaps you've shared some of my questions a time or two.  I have a hunch that I'm voicing those fleeting thoughts that get suppressed or ignored, because they're too big and too uncomfortable.  Perhaps some of my questions are uncomfortable for you.  I understand.  I'm sorry.....I really am.....I've been there too.  I realize that such honesty is risky.....but I'm not going to be a wimp or a pleaser.  I've decided to say what I need to say.

I believe God's Word contains the answers to my questions.  I believe my Heavenly Father welcomes my honest heart.  I believe that there is a consistency and a connecting thread running throughout the Scriptures that doesn't change.....because God doesn't change.....He knows the end from the beginning.  I believe the Old Testament isn't really old and the New Testament isn't really new.....to God.  They are linked harmoniously together as God's enduring Word.....a continuous revelation.....the love story of a persistent, faithful Lover set upon the wooing of his Bride.

As Noah, Abraham, Moses and the disciples, each one of us must answer God's call on our lives.  His call requires us to leave behind our past and go to our destiny.  We can't rely on what others around us are doing, our journeys are not the same.  We can't even compare our life's journey to our parents' journey.  Our warm memories and the cherished traditions that shaped us are not reason enough for us to refuse to move forward when He calls.  This is a new day.....a new season.....a new time of history.....in His Story. 

 

 My 50 Questions.....????? 

.....our relationship with Israel.....holidays and holy days.....
.....following Jesus.....our relationship to the law..... 
.....the trustworthiness of God's Word..... 
.....the roots of the church.....deception of the enemy.....

1. Why have I grown up with so little focus on Israel's importance for today?
2. Does the church think she has replaced Israel?
3. Do we think God has rescinded on His promises to Israel?
4. What assurance does a Gentile believer have in God's promises, if God is not even faithful to his chosen people?
5. Is it honorable for the church to call Jews away from the biblical .....Sabbath and other God-appointed holy days.....days God commanded them to keep forever?
6. Is it right for the church to call Jews to pagan originated "Christian" holidays that Jesus/Yeshua never kept?
7. Why don't we recognize the fullness of Jesus/Yeshua's Jewishness?
8. Why don't we call Jesus by his prophetic, God-given name?  Yeshua means "the LORD saves".....how cool is that?!
9. Why do we celebrate Messiah's birth in December when we know the season is incorrect?
10. Why do we celebrate our Savior's birth and resurrection on the same day as pagan holidays?
11.  Are Christian holidays really holy days in God's sight?
12. What do Christmas trees have to do with the birth of the Savior of the world?
13. Advent.....after all these years I still can't remember how the pink and purple candles fit in or what each Sunday is supposed to signify.....why is it so nebulous?
14. Do our unbiblical holidays really honor God?
15. Why don't we celebrate biblical holy days, the days called calls "his appointed times"  or "his divine appointments?"
16. Lent.....what does Christ's 40-day wilderness experience have to do with Easter?
17. Why do we celebrate the Lord's Supper with leavened bread?
18. Why don't we celebrate the Passover with unleavened bread as our Lord taught us to do in remembrance of him? 
19. Why do we celebrate our resurrected Rabbi by eating ham at Easter?
20. WWJD - how about instead.....What Did Jesus Do?  If we consider ourselves to be disciples/followers of Jesus, why don't we do what he did?
21. Why do we worship on Sunday and call it the Sabbath day?
22. Who gave the Roman Catholic Church the right to outlaw Sabbath worship and order Sunday worship?
23. How can we discount the words God gave to Moses face-to-face.....words that God wrote in stone.....with His own finger?
24. Since Jesus kept the Sabbath along with his followers, shouldn't we do the same?
25. Since Jesus said he did not come to abolish the law, should we not esteem and follow it also?
26. Does God mean what He says?
27. Isn't God's Word eternal?
28. Why do we consider the law to be negative?
29. Would God do away with His law that David proclaims as perfect, trustworthy, right, radiant, pure, firm, righteous, invaluable, sweet, in Psalm 19?  
30. If the law is done away with, why does Paul call it "holy, righteous and good?"
31. If we believe that the New Covenant has replaced the Old Covenants, why do we still trust God's covenant sign of the rainbow?
32. Why do we consider the Reformers to be our church fathers?
33. Why don't we consider Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and the disciples of Jesus to be our church fathers?
34. Shouldn't we be more Reformed.....as in formed to be more like the early church than the Roman Catholic Church? 
35. Why do we nearly idolize the Reformers, like Martin Luther and John Calvin who were anti-Semitic? - see Anti-Semitism of the "Church Fathers"
36. How can one love God and hate his chosen people Israel?
37. How could a truly holy church commit atrocities against people with whom they disagree?  
38. Who gave the Roman Catholic Church the right to change God's laws, times and customs?
39. Does it matter to God that the Roman Catholic Church merged the pagan with the holy to create new holidays?
40. When God is patient, does that also mean he is approving?
41. Who gave the Roman Catholic Church the right to outlaw biblical Jewish practices?
42. Why do we practice the same holidays that the Roman Catholic Church instituted?
43. Why does the Protestant church resemble the Roman Catholic Church, more closely than the early church?
44. Why is the Vatican filled with such pomp, power and riches?
45. Why does the Vatican collect and display pagan and naked art?
46. Where did God ever say that (infant) baptism replaced circumcision?
47. How does infant baptism embrace the reality of repentance and rebirth?
48. Is it possible that the enemy of God has infiltrated the church with his schemes?  
49. Is there not an enemy who seeks to oppose, to steal, kill and destroy what belongs to God?  Who seeks to deceive even the elect? 
50. Can we as a church be humble enough to admit that perhaps we have been deceived, and that the enemy has divided us from one another and from our Jewish roots? 

So, do all these challenging words make me a rebel-rouser?  I hope not.  

The way I see it, I'm just a seeker of Truth and a fellow pilgrim on life's journey.

The Day draws near.....the Bridegroom is returning soon, and we must prepare.....pure and spotless as a bride, we must be.  When the shofar blows we must be ready.  Let us go when God calls.....let us walk by faith.....not by sight.  The journey is life-long, sometimes difficult and lonely, but it is worthy and worthwhile and totally worth it.